Ephyra Happy New Year
Good morning! Or as I like to say, “Hello from the land of coffee and chaos!” – though, just to
clarify, my name is not Kerry Bradshaw. I know, shocking, right? But hey, it worked – I got your
attention, didn’t I? The part about me reporting live from Ephyra Media? Absolutely true. Now,
have you heard of Ephyra Media yet? No? Well, let me tell you, you’re missing out, and here’s
why.
We just wrapped up our first meeting of 2025, and calling it bittersweet and fun is an
understatement. Picture this: A global team of geniuses from all over the world – the US, Europe,
Chile, Brazil, and beyond. It’s like the United Nations of marketing… but with better coffee, worse
jokes, and way more chaos. We come from different corners of the earth, and we love it. We love
diversity, we love growth, we love learning… and most importantly, we love honesty. If you
haven’t heard of us yet, well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re living in the marketing dark ages.
And we, my friend, are here to drag you into the future.
Now, let’s talk about Joao, our Marketing Especialist. This man dropped some wisdom on us today:
“Being funny is hard.” Now, if you know Joao, you’re probably laughing just hearing that. The guy
who has made it his life mission to turn sarcasm into an art form, and who can make a rock crack
up, claims humor is difficult. But don’t worry, he’s not just funny in theory; he’s funny in practice.
In fact, he almost gave me a heart attack the other day with one of his legendary pranks.
But enough about Joao, let me introduce myself: I’m Ivo. The guy who wears too many hats, fails
at too many things, and somehow manages to stay employed. My boss, Andrew, has yet to figure
out how that works, but I guess I’m like a human glitch in the system. A few weeks ago, I was
drowning in a sea of emails, trying to follow up on Andrew’s inbox while he was off gallivanting at
meetings. I thought I was on fire – metaphorically, of course – until I received a calendar invite
from Joao titled “Ivo’s Dismissal Meeting.” My first thought? “Oh no, I really am that bad today,
aren’t I?” But surprise! It was just Joao messing with me, as usual.
But let’s shift gears for a second and talk about Andrew, our fearless leader. The man can be a bit
of a hardhead, but what really sets him apart is that he’ll admit when he’s wrong. And that’s not
something you find every day in a boss. He’s trustworthy, dependable, and despite the fact that
most of us work remotely, there’s a level of accountability that’s practically supernatural. Sure, we
argue sometimes (like when I tell him I can’t finish a project because my dog ate my to-do list), but
at the end of the day, it’s all about getting things done – and making sure our clients are thriving.
Speaking of clients, today’s meeting topic was goals. You know, the usual New Year’s talk:
company goals, personal goals, world domination plans – all the fun stuff. It got me thinking: What
are your New Year’s resolutions? No, really, have you thought about how Ephyra Media can help
you achieve them? If not, now’s the time to start asking yourself that question.
When I first joined Ephyra, I never imagined I’d be learning about the finer points of epoxy, paint
types, and how to survive a roof collapse (fun fact: roofs don’t last as long as you think). But as it
turns out, it’s actually useful knowledge when your own house is slowly falling apart. And who do I
turn to when I need advice? Andrew, of course. The man is like a walking encyclopedia of random
facts. Seriously, I think he’s secretly a robot programmed with all the information in the world.
Joao also shared something interesting today. He told us that in his previous job, he was known as
the “serious” one. Joao, the man who once made a joke about paint that nearly sent me into an
existential crisis, was labeled “serious.” I had to pause and think – this is what makes Ephyra
Media so special. Here, we’re encouraged to be ourselves. We work hard, we get things done, but
we also get to be real. We’re not just a team of drones – we’re humans who care about our
clients’ goals, and we’re willing to represent them with the kind of personality that only Ephyra
Media can deliver.
Then there’s Allison. You know, the one who’s always up to something adventurous. Did I mention
we all have dogs? Yes, every single person at Ephyra Media has at least one dog. Allison’s Frenchie,
Remi, is basically our office mascot. One day, in the middle of a meeting, we hear a strange noise,
followed by Allison suddenly turning off her camera and running off. We’re all like, “What’s going
on? Is it an emergency?” Turns out, Remi had released a nuclear bomb of a fart right next to
Allison while she was on camera. Classic Remi.
And then there’s the TV show debate. Joao looked at me today and said, “Ivo, you really need to
watch something good.” Because yes, I’m the guy who watches all the rom-coms and cries silently
into my pillow while everyone else is watching mafia dramas. What can I say? I’m a sensitive soul.
And here’s a fun fact to brighten your day: Andrew’s dad owns a plumbing business. Years ago, he
visited a client’s house in Miami, and when he came back, he casually mentioned that the house
had exploded. Naturally, we all leaned in, wondering what on earth could be worse than an
exploded house. Well, it turns out the house belonged to none other than Griselda, the infamous
cartel queen. No big deal, just another day in the life of Ephyra Media gossip.
So here we are, kicking off 2025. We’ve survived hurricanes, earthquakes, toxic dog farts, and
enough ridiculousness to last a lifetime. But through it all, we’ve stuck together, learned from each
other, and supported one another. Our clients? They’re in very good hands.
Today, Ephyra Media is here to stay. We’re representing clients with a blend of integrity, humor,
and downright humanity. We’re not about robotic perfection; we’re about real people, real
stories, and real connections. And you better believe we’ll be laughing all the way to our next big
achievement.
Here’s to 2025! Let’s make it a year of big wins, even bigger laughs, and lots of treats for your dogs
(because they deserve it). Stay tuned – the Ephyra Media adventures are just getting started, and
trust me, you won’t want to miss it.
Happy New Year from all of us at Ephyra Media!